OPEN MIC ARCHIVE
May, 1999 - Part Two


UPDATED MAY 16, 1999.


We blame the games, guns, music, and tv

When the blame is all our own

We refuse to let those who are different simply be

Because they do things we do not condone

We make a spectacle of death

Society puts evil on parade

Because we want to know what it has to say

We pretend exploiting it is okay

Why cant we leave the past where it belongs

And quit picking at old scabs

Why cant we accept that it was wrong

Instead of dressing it in rags

It makes me sick to hear on every station

That some youth has surely died

But the other thing that died in there that day

Was the last of my human pride

I'm sorry they are now gone

The strangers I can never meet

But if their families can carry on

Things for the rest of us really aren't that bleak

As americans we feel guilty when something goes wrong

Anyone of us could have stopped that tragedy

But instead its shock rock and movies that do harm

I know though, that it was meant to be

"do you believe in god?"


I just want to say that its sick to exploit death. As a goth I find it pathetic that those who dress like me are being criticized for what two trench coat clowns did to their peers. The video games, movies, tv, music (manson is one of my favorite musicians), ect. are not to blame....they are NOTHING more that excuses because we can't handle the truth. My apologies 4 the truth, it can hurt.

-------------------------------

Untitled


If truth was a guillotine

Razor sharp

And deathly slow,

"Friend" is but a word

That my severed head would know.

---------------------------

Fall~*

The leaves on the trees

Look like hanging fire

Summer is leaving us soon,

Packing up its green skirts

And golden hats.

Fall waltzes in

Dripping scarlet scarves.

There is a sense of mystery

In the air now,

Pungent as memory.

-------------------------

Dawn

He wonders aimlessly along the shore.

Knowing he's wanting something more.

The cold air filters through him and leaves him be.

As the sun descends and sets easily.

And the trees reach out to him for a longing night.

The only thing he knows is that it all went right.

And he feels it more when he's looking at the sun.

He loses her more every time he runs.

And when they held each other as the sun went down.

He let every little hurting piece of him drown.

While the sky stormed amber and the evening was to come.

He held her tight and said goodnight to the sun.

So she sees the love in his eyes.

And every minute seems like forever as time flies.

She takes his hand and lets him touch braze her cheek.

Nothing else could be as sweet.

She's so beautiful through his eyes.

And she couldn't forget him even if she tried.

And he feels it more when he's looking at the sun.

He loses her more every time he runs.

And when they held each other as the sun went down.

He let every little hurting piece of him drown.

While the sky stormed amber and the evening was to come.

He held her tight and said goodnight to the sun.

----------------------

The Mask

What color Blue do you see beside you?

The Blue of Blood?

Or the Blue of a Brick?

Blue? There is no Blue here I see.

Nor does anyone else believe.

What color Black do you see beside you?

The Black of a Bride?

Or the Black of a Bone?

Both are insane to ask of a color

For few who know a color has no Color.

-------------------

Born of the Sun

To brighten light while in the day,

To cause the night when you don't stay.

When life is gone with passions fires,

When death is on like falling spires.

You come today with rays of light,

You go away and bring the night.

Your passions fire bringing the dawn,

Your passing dire; because you've gone.

Your beauty's dove my heart does taunt,

All I think of, your beauty does daunt.

And all is want to have your love,

And all is gaunt when you've gone above

----------------------

Professor Seregrum

Bobbing up and down in formaldehyde

like a buoy anchored beside an uncharted rock.

Professor Seregrum is living in a jar,

condensed with his equations and quantitative dreams,

alone with his ambitions,

and anatomical machines.

In a neurologist's aquarium,

his life rots on a display,

at the MIT convention,

he's the hero of the day.

"I wonder if he's thinking?"

"Yes, his thoughts are quite profound."

"He doesn't want his body?"

"No, it distracts while we're around."

"Every night at closing,

we download stimuli,

from the mainframe that is listening

and watching every eye."

"So when this crowd dispenses,

our computer will relay,

every moment that he's missing

from every passing day."

While the group sits listening,

the professor sways from side to side,

he beats against the glass,

and tips the jar upside.

Formaldehyde is leaking,

the brain spasms on the floor,

spectators stand screaming,

and squirming for the door.


"Jesus, Jonny!

He's dying! He's dying!


What are we going to do?"


"Can somebody get a mop?"

-----------------------

The answer

I've forgotten the answer

to the ultimate question

you know, Life, the Universe and Everything

that one

I used to know it

had it down pat

it's a number ... 47? 56?

I can't remember, it's gone

it was a comfort to know it

no matter how many other answers

evaded me,

I had the big one nailed down

but now ... where am I?

who am I?

why am I?

I just don't know any more

do you?

----------------------------

Remember that a little love

Remember that friendship

Life's treasures are people together

Have health and hope and happiness

Take the time to wish

Upon a twinkling star

Realize that it's never too late

Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way

And don't forget our special moment

Even though we are apart

I could never forget

All of the time we shared

All of the happiness and sorrow

I will keep it in my memory.

---------------------------

I Remember
Dawn Meredith

1923....Samuel Coyle Meredith....1981
I Love You Grandpa


I remember our walks like they were yesterday

Hold my hand as we cross the street

"That is what you would say"

But things are different

Now that you are gone

And I wish you were here

I miss you so much sometimes i cry at night

Please make things all better

Help me stop crying and wipe my tears away

Take my sleepless night's away

I know things would be different

Had you not passed away

I love you grandpa

And I know you really care

I wish you could make things all better

But you can not

Because you are not here..

--------------------------

silent

except for the light

tapping at my door

my love has come

to take me over

but i insist on sleep

again and

embrace gray as

the sun dies

still steady sonnets sing

through my door and

try to wake me up but

i've no room for love

oh

i know

love longs for reconciliation

still my heart has gone forever

in the tiny pieces

it became and

i will sleep

with gray

as light is knocking

to no avail

with love on my door

----------------------------

Beneath this tainted smile, there is a person

There is a life that lives behind this disguise

There is a creature that is prisoner to this tragic facade

Beneath this laugh, there are tears that want to trickle down

There is pain that chips away at my foolish mask

There is hurt that lies beyond this selfish charade

Beneath this stable image, there is a scared little girl

There is a nightmare that dents itself into my fable

There is an innocent child that longs for the freedom to cry


Beneath this happy illusion, there is a lonely child

There is a fear of loving, fear of being alone

There is a child here, behind this strong foundation

---------------------------

Alive in my memories that's where you are

so close inside me but yet so far

now that you gone I don't know what to do

life with out you is life so blue

we think about today not about tomorrow

tonight is filled with rage

and tomorrow filled with sorrow

But tomorrow I see change a chance to build a new

but the hard thing about tomorrow is

a tomorrow without you

i guess it was your time to go, just like all the rest

just another statistic just another x

you see i can write this for all of you to read

but can not let it out

cuz my heart that dose not bleed

but i got to go on just like a solider at war

knowing that some day i will settle the score

-----------------------------

First Day of the Vision

A lonely man I am, with gallons of love to give.

Today I met a girl, within her it just might live.

With her flowing golden hair, her glowing blue eyes,

Cupid took out his bow, and shot down from the skies.

His arrow struck me swiftly, a bullseye in the heart,

now I simply must decide, how and where to start.

A lover she has though, with whom she seems to fight,

every day upon day, and every night upon night.

I see how she is treated, it gets worse each day,

I know I can give her better, in my own special way.

I must win her heart, for mine she has already won,

all it took was one look, my pulse was on the run.

The shortest hour of class, has suddenly come to an end,

I have suddenly realized, she could be more than just a friend.

--------------------------------

this this what you want... your words comfort yours/yours, you run for this, this someone, past all of blue and movement,

careening. what of bending silly trees, what of the lost, left over shit of a destroyer, messages passed to some unwitting enemy,

the jolly slide toward us now. green, green. blue, there is brown, people facing YOU, along this space for, for, for...


this place is sadly for!

------------------------------------

Come with me to place that is great

A place full of love and not an ounce of hate

This place is endless and always open to you

come with me there will always be something to do

this place is for you only, not anyone more

as we approach this place, there is an unlocked door

I will tell you right now this is how its been from the start.

Let me welcome you to the openness of my heart.

-----------------------------

a new...

many beginnings,

cells are definition, then

thoughts carry cells along toward

outward, or inward.


they are real mules, of

experience. for where

else does it happen? my

fingers end my thought,

clear my head, erase


for cells to affect.

-----------------------------------

From Equator's Latin bean,

Seeps a surge of rich caffeine,

Which, with hint of mocha tanned,

Summer's memories withstand.

-----------------------------------

A Confessional Verse


I'm only a primitive poet

So don't get too technical please

Don't ask if my rhymes are Trochaic

Or some kind of simple blank verse

These questions just serve to confuse me

And sometimes the queries get worse

Do you write in Iambic Pentameter?

Or Dactylic metre times four?

I barely can understand gas meters

Dactylictyl, a new dinosaur?

I only create from pure instinct

And write words down just as they come

Fine schol'arly learning? I don't think!

It's all done by crude rule of thumb

So simply just read this for pleasure

It all should be taken in fun

------------------------------------

Eternity

Lasting forever in the sea of souls,

Euphonious waves crashing erasing black holes,

Forever in the stars,

Luminous light shining down,

A hidden treasure that has been found,

This is your love,

This is infinite.

----------------------------------

Stars

ric Hazlinsky


Sunset's light bids farewell to the day

and beckons night's first star

the same one that's been there for years

and will be for years to come


Just as we know the sun will rise

we know the stars will shine

and even if hidden by cloud

we know they still shine


These stars bring us hope

make us dream

make wishes come true

and point us in the right direction


To some they mean more

to others they are a bore

yet they're still there

the thing we can count on

always being there

-------------------------------------------------------

My gift


Given unto you is the strength of my words

And seen in the wisdom is that of knowledge

For my words are revealed to be measured

And found in the light is a passion to see

For my weakness is carried within my flesh

And my burden is the foundation of my soul

For my heart is that which is of my spirit

And my word shall flow with the wind of time

------------------------------------------------

Cold


Again this place is empty and cold

Your warmth is gone after this long time

Now I sit here and grow old

as I think of these riddles and rhymes.

------------------------------------------

A Riddle From The Shadows


Thy heart is the darkest night

As light as a shadow within the deepest darkness

And only in the blackest night can thouest evil heart survive

And only in the darkest shadow dost thou make thy home

Thy heart fears only light and goodness

Which lies in the hearts on men thou feeds upon

Thy soul essence is needed for thou blackest heart's survival

------------------------------------------------------

MOM

k.j.


Somebody kill me please

since I have nothing to offer you

or even the world in that fact

whatever I am

you want me to be the opposite

of that


How the hell can I please you?

your attitude is always changing

one minute, to the next

maybe you just hate me

or maybe I will never live up to YOU

Damn it!

I am sick of the tears burning my eyes!

And the feelings I get when you badmouth me

and the thoughts I get to sometimes plan

my suicide

And sometimes I die every night, trying

but I'll never be what you want me to be.

---------------------------------

: I CLOSE MY EYES TO THE WORLD AROUND ME AND WONDER WHY I'M HERE. WHY I'M TRAPPED IN

THIS ENDLESS WAR WE HAVE COME TO CALL LIFE. YOU HAVE TO HAVE YOUR GUARD UP AT ALL

TIMES CAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN SOMEONE OR SOMETHING MIGHT ATTACK. BUT CAN YOU

REALLY DEPEND ON YOUR WEAPONS AS PROTECTION? FOR THEY AS JUST AS YOUR FRIENDS WILL

LET YOU DOWN WHEN YOU NEED THEM MOST. THIS BATTLE WE ARE ALL SO INTENSELY FIGHTING IS

NEVER ENDING. THE MEANING OF TRUE FRIENDSHIP AND LOYALTY DIED WHEN THIS WAR STARTED.

---------------------------------------------------

Two Horses


Standing so close to each other

they almost touch

two white horses

near the fence.


I speak to them saying

how handsome they are

and the old one strikes

a show horse pose

even though he is bony

spavined,

swaybacked.


"Oh you are fine," I say

and he lowers his eyelids

at my compliment.


The young horse looks at me

with the eyes of a child

on the first day of school.

------------------------------------

The Color of You....


Like the blackness of the sky,

So blunt, obvious and true.

Like the color of your eyes,

Don't portray the color of you.

Each will mask unknowing,

Something hidden and secluded.

Something much too good for showing,

A longing story not concluded.

Do we portray ourselves in truth?

Or do we display a pleasing view?

If you clad yourself in spirit,

Would you still look like you?


Still I don't choose to gape my soul,

Open for the world to see.

If everyone knew me at a glance,

Life and compromise wouldn't be.


Our mold was made so pure and true,

To resemble all the others.

Our job is to paint the inside,

In our own souls canvas of color.

-----------------------------

Since the Dawn of Time

Nathaniel Dolan Poole


In the

beginning;

Time began its slow journey to completion.

The waters flowed over the earth and nature began to grow.

The winds swept the seeds of humanity to the ends of the earth,

And life began to take a new cycle.

Now; We watch as our children return,

From an institution that gives them the supposed knowledge,

to survive in the world we have created today.

In the end; Who is to blame for what troubled minds create?

What do we do when a child hasn't the will to live anymore?

Where can the children go when there is no where left to go?

When can they ask for help and not receive ridicule?

How can we teach them the difference?

----------------------------------

Things often lost over time

James Moyers


Things often lost over time,

Often forgotten or left behind.

Never real

Because we don't feel.

Distance gets in between and grows and grows,

By taking different roads that no one ever knows,

Never stopping to feel or to grow,

Just keep going from Part A to Part B because that's all you know.


To me, reality is just a lie.

People just go through the motions until they die.

Reality tells us just to go day to day.

"Don't even stop and feel because that will just get in the way."

Don't ever let time stand still,

Because if you do you will feel, causing you to get the chills

Reality tells us to deny.

Anything and Everything else is just a lie.


Random thoughts are often the best.

No way to categorize them with the rest.

They are often the most true,

Because we don't ever think in order to prove.

They are often felt but never said,

Just something to dream about when we go to bed.

----------------------------------

Child

I am a child,

I am only a kid

I do not need anything

but, for someone to love me.

I feel as if no one loves me,

and I am all alone.

I know someone likes me,

although it is unknown.

I will bless the day

when my dreams come true.

when the prayers i pray

seem to fit into one shoe.

kiss me goodnight,

my prayers are through,

for I was just a child

needing some love from you.

----------------------------------

PERFECT GUY:


I met the perfect guy

who filled up my heart

I love him so and I hope we never part

He was nice to me

He offered his jacket

I said thanks and I really appreciate it

He quieted the bus, when I had a headache

Now all I have left is a terrible heartache.

He is going to college so I wished him goodluck

I bid him a farewell and said I hope your life doesn't suck.

I wish I would have told him

that I love him so

Maybe he would not have packed his things,

Maybe he would not have had to go.

------------------------------------

Always


You know how much i love you,

you know i'll always be there,

When ever things are going wrong,

no matter what I will always care.

You can tell me anything,

Your secret with me,

Will always be kept.


I hope that we'll be together,

For along long time,

Will we always last forever?

I hope that you will always be mine.

------------------------------------

Oak Woodland

Ananda Moonasingha


The glorious Oak woodland standing undisturbed

The oldest entity in the suburb

Home for plants, birds and a whole ecosystem

The British soil has got accustomed

Tread on the dead leaves its a pleasure

Or walk on the footpaths in leisure

Odd other trees like elm or beech

Make sun seeking top canopy able to reach

Diverse niche for a myriad of organisms

Micro and macro in soil and in biomass luxuriant

Virgin soil untouched, unploughed by man

Accreting, perpetual symbiotic domain

I counted and focused them all, seedling to big stock

Other trees didn't rise under a giant Oak

Where bracken dominated ground layer

Not many trees appeared in ground canopy cover

-------------------------------------

You all talk about death and how you gonna die, Well you have yet to see the other side, yea life aint just about gettin high and

to dye, the other side aint just a myth some of you won't realize this, the other side what's that about, its about heart and sole

and stuff that counts, i know all this cuz i can see, some say what i see will effect me, but it wont cuz i see all things,

some see the good but tend to ignore, all the bad things like poverty and war,


the rest see all the bad but blind to all the good, like the heart and sole witch all of you should, I see you can not realize this,

but it makes me realize more, I have something you don't, a little something more, something i cant explain, stronger than the

human spirit, something you cant contain, yea you can say i am before my time, With every word, I make life a rhyme


so I'm gona leave you with a quote one who taught me what i wrote


"the blind stares of a million paires of eyes looking hard but they won't realize they will never see what i see" tupac

----------------------------------

I dream awake thinking of you

Hopes and wishes in every view

As if Cupid's arrow is straight through my heart

With a fanatical pain stricken from within his dart

From the corner of my eye a teardrop falls

A sign I'm waiting for you to call

The teardrop hits the linen of my bed

Transforms to a rose of blood shattering red

I dream awake in long lost views

Of a perfect picture of me and you

-------------------

hush baby hush

i've never asked anyone

to give me their hand

no matter how far down

i was sinking in the sand


i've never cried out loud

so everyone could hear

i keep it all inside

with my uncried tears


hush baby hush

do not say a word

hush baby hush

its better left unheard


i guess i have a cunning smile

to fool you all so well

but you do not ask

why should i tell?


the roaming laughter

coming from my lips

is nothing but a mask

for the hurt and rips


hush baby hush

do not say a word

hush baby hush

it's better left unheard

i often wonder how deep you look

into my dark blue eyes

can you see past the rubble

to the buried lies?

i'm not starting now

i'm not asking you

i don't need your help

i'll wait on my own heart it's true


hush baby hush

i won't say another word

hush baby hush

i'll let it go unheard.

-----------------------------

The Price Of What~


When I sit up, I think, How do I do this?

When I think, My mind throws up watered-down hope,

When I swallow my pride, I cannot breathe,

When I try to rise, the wind knocks me down again,

When I open my eyes, I just want to close them,

When I wake, I want to die,

So I do.

---------------------------

A Little Bit

I asked if you liked me.

You replied, "just a little bit."

Now it all seems, this whole thing lacks.


Every time you pull away,

I give the rope more slack.


Your stories just drive into my skin

About how you're just like a chameleon,

Perfectly blending into every social situation.

All you cause is agitation

Complaining about the molds you form into

When in fact, you don't have the balls to break through.

So maybe I used to scream

But now I'll say it soft

I don't like my jagged edges rounded off

And maybe I'll find you giving the rope some slack

But this time I'll let it snap

Cause just to like me, "a little bit."

Will never cut it

-------------------------

Visions of You

Daniel Villarreal

Visions of you

wearing black and blue

dark fall twilight

made you seem bright

I wondered if it was i

or a color in the sky

that made you come though

the mirror that stands

between me and you


In silvertone dreams

you caught me between

the words that you thought

i could not hear

but those words alone

brought you near


Wake me again

sweet angel friend

with kisses of soma

and chocolate love

take me away

to your heaven above


Why does it seem

that you fill my dreams

with lascivious scenes

in the space between

a sentence unfinished

and letters unsent

-------------------------------

A WRITING BRAIN (FOR MISS S.)

by jennifer onorata

This woman is crazy, slender with a minuscule tallness:

she mixes colors absurdly, but even more absurd--

it looks good.

rambling on and on, branching from one connection to

its other counterpart connection--'till NO ONE is connected.

I feel connected - the systematic meltdown, the Quickness

to prepare for other ideas labor of other ideas being born.

Her brain overloads are similar to my own-- we are some two--

somewhere--- connected....

-----------------------------------

A Cinquain

Shoes

old worn

walking, running, climbing

autos for my feet

shoes

-------------------------

It's The Snowflake's That's Forever


As the golden light shines

down on us,

It is the moon I speak of.

The snowflakes fall so glittery white,

Reminding us it's Winter

The frosty chill that awaits us each morn,

Is enough to make you shiver.

And the twinkling stars in the dark night sky,

That shall stay forever.

Of all these present this December night,

It is the snowflake that's forever.

----------------------------------

Reflections of a blue sky
BY Chris


On the rock Today, on this rock, And if the serenade

at the base in this forest, I have should reach another

of a cliff. given you a droplet of lovers ear than

Free in nature, everything - a seed for let him be forever

trapped in love. you to sew in the garden blissful, and let

The sun shinning of forever. My thoughts him find a rock

down on our will be with you but my mind of his own to lie

backs. Soft, was taken away by the birds, upon and fill his

thick moss for a you remember, the ones own forest with

bed and the which sung the sweet serenade. passion, for my

sweet song of a Now I know child, how forest is full

mocking bird for confusing and disturbing and will soon

a serenade. these old trees can be. overflow.

Without shame we and I know that this

proceeded, filling moss doesn't really care

the forest with about us but I think that

passion. I never if the passion flowing

looked at a rock through the air reaches

or a tree the it's "Golden Gates" than

same way I did that our worries will end and

day. I never looked our hearts will soar like

at myself the same the hawks we saw. This day

way I did that of romance, bound by hands and

day. But before feet shall ring loud in my mind

you leave, she said, until the day I fall - a day

"don't forget about when the final toll rings

the choices you've and when you see the sad child

made and don't forget inside my heart come out for

about my heart." I a soothing cup of tea to talk

said, sweet girl, about what we have done.

forgetting you is like If I can bid you peace and

forgetting myself. hold fast the memory of the

No matter how hard I cliff than tonight I will

try you will forever Sleep a long deep sleep.

be there, a lonely The story of the rock will

tear hanging in my be told by the animals, but

heart. not in haste, always in love.

--------------------------

UNTITLED


WHISPER SOFTLY TO ME THE SECRETS OR YOUR SOUL, "YOU CAN TRUST ME." SAID THE

NIGHTINGALE. AM I WRONG TO BREATHE? JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES GRASP A REASONABLE CONCEPT

AND LET GO. LIE DOWN UPON THY MASTERS GRAVE UNTIL YOU HAVE LEARNED THE PROPER WAY

TO GRIEVE. "GIVE ME YOUR HAND, SWEET CHILD." SAID THE SERPENT, "AND I SHALL GIVE YOU ALL

THE KNOWLEDGE YOU ARE ACHING TO RECEIVE." NEVER THROUGHOUT A MILLION SHADOWED

YEARS DID I QUESTION MY PAIN. AND NOW IT IS TOO LATE TO DENY WHAT I'VE PROMISED, TOO

LATE TO GO ON, SWALLOW THE AWFUL SECRETS, LIVE ANOTHER SHAME. AND YET, IN THE NIGHT I

STILL DREAM OF A TIME WHEN I FOUND SORROW IN THE FRUIT, NOT SWEET AND JUICY

PERSISTENCE, BUT ROTTEN PLACES WHERE THE FRUIT HAD BEEN TORMENTED BY RAIN. CANT U SEE I

NEED YOUR APATHETIC RESPONSE TO THE HEAVEN I HAVE FOUND WITH IN MY HELL? "PATIENCE IS

DECEIVING." SAID THE WOMAN IN MY DREAM. WITH HER HAIR SHORT AND CHOPPY, SCREAMING

INTO THE SKY, WHILE DOWN UPON HER KNEES, SHE KNELT, WAITING FOR THE RAIN TO FALL,

WAITING FOR AN ANSWER FROM ABOVE. IT NEVER CAME, AND SHE DIED THERE. WITHIN HER

CONFUSION I COULD NOT REFRAIN. THERE WAS NO OTHER CHOICE, AND I COULD NOT BRING

MYSELF TO LOVE HER AGAIN. MAYBE IF SHE HAD'VE BEEN A CHILD OR A NURSE, SOME ONE THAT I

COULD RESPECT, INSTEAD OF AN EXCUSE FOR WHAT I COULD NEVER EXCUSE, MAYBE SHE WOULD

STILL BE HERE, WITH HER LOVER THAT FELT LIKE ME, ONLY STUBBORN WHEN I CAME TO DENIAL,

BUT A BURDEN JUST THE SAME.

-------------------------

Constant
Corey Wolloff

I've always had a need for her,

No matter how small,

I've always taken heat from her,

She's been there through it all,

And as the seasons change again I need her oh so much,

I'd give anything if just to sense, her warmth, her smell, her touch,

It baffles me how much I miss the song, which she sang,

She helped me see how much I need the life on which I hang,

Most cannot impress me now as much as she had,

Knowing that I'm not myself, I'm bitter, cold, and sad,

Sometimes I sit and think of her even talk to myself,

Wondering if I should be with her, bathing in self wealth,

I realize now, that it's not time, for her to hear these words from me,

I see now, I guess I should, maybe just let it be.

-------------------------

TODAY


Sergeant Smith passed away.

Time for me to get down on my knees and pray

for the dead who are long gone.

For those who went to sleep and never awoke.


I often wonder if they placed their souls in good hands (The right hands).

if they reserved for themselves a place in the promised land.

Who knows maybe tomorrow is my day to go.

But for every moment i spend on earth I thank the Lord

because he has watched me grow.

From a child to a young woman

with feelings and emotions.

Noticing my surroundings in this dilapidated wasteland we call Earth.

I appreciate the good and the bad things in my life.

Coz like i said the Lord's been there to watch me grow.

- MESHIA

-----------------------

Running into the light?


Of grace, of meaning?

-Of untold sadness.

Of what we cannot see

And cannot help.

Time unused; and wasted?

-Unfulfilled.

A dark spot-

-crowded out the soul.


What life was left....

Lost all imagination.

-------------------------

sunken soul that bitterly bleeds

left here i am with me

blindly misleading

you just rebounded

and i lay crushed

picking up the pieces

you threw up

dissecting my contents

to find the truth

no faults found except

the x is back in town.

----------------------

"SUMMER'S FROST."
MATTHEW F. BLOWERS III


I REMEMBER THE BRIGHT MELODY OF IT'S CHIMES,

AS KIDS HOLLERED, "HEY MOM, GOT A NICKEL OR DIME,

AND THAT WHITE KNIGHT ON WHEELS, DECAL PLASTERED, CAME SLOWLY,

BRINGING SWEET ICY TREATS THIRSTY CHILDREN FOUND HOLY.

IN LOPSIDED RUNS, WITH COINS CLENCHED IN THEIR HANDS,

THEY CAME GAZING AT PICTURES AND YELLED THEIR DEMANDS,

"GIMME POPSICLES OR AN ORANGE PUSHUP THEY'D SCREAM,"

AS THEIR CASH WENT CLINK-CLANK IN HIS COIN CHANGE MACHINE.

THEN HE'D TURN TO THAT DOOR WITH THE BIG METAL LATCH,

ICY MIST FROM IT POURED AS HE OPENED THE HATCH,

AND THEIR EYES WERE AS SHARP AS A PROWLING YOUNG FOX IS,

AS HE REACHED DEEP INSIDE AND HE RUSTLED THOSE BOXES.


THEN HE'D PULL OUT A BRIGHTLY WRAPPED TREAT ON A STICK,

THAT WAS GRABBED AND WAS GONE, LIKE THE KID , OH, SO QUICK,

TO THE SHADE OF A TREE WHERE THEY'D SOON MEDITATE,

ON THE SUGARY TASTE OF THE ICE CREAM THEY ATE.


THEN THAT WHITE KNIGHT INTO SUMMERS HEAT LUMBERED ON,

LEAVING PLEASURABLE CHILLS IN THE PLACES IT'D GONE.

--------------------------

Not Mine


mist over the water

water under the bridge

bridge into the mist


gone...

----------------------

"Abuse".....mental suicide..


Closed eyes within beaten flesh

Outside myself hiding from your pain

Yielding to your bitter caress

Trapped inside my head going insane

I feel your infection flow through me

Manifesting me into something else

Turning innocents to impurity

Until there's nothing left

I feel your blades as they pierce my heart

Your words ever so cold

Turning your sickness into art

But even the most thoughtful clichés grow old

The soft look in those eyes,

Well it still turns me on

So it should come as no surprise

That I'm still a puppet dancing in rhythm with your song

I like it when you hurt me

I find it comforting there's always something I can depend on

I like it when you hurt me

It feels so right just because its wrong

The salty taste of my tears always brings you back

Brings back the itch of the bandages around my chest

Always seems to remind me of the past

And the place in my soul you hurt best

Your touch was always so tender

Your flesh like ice to my lips

So I wonder is it the same for her?

Is it the same for her when you give her your bloody kiss?

My one wish is to please you

I'm sure that would tear me apart

I guess its fair to say your everything

Everything when it comes to my heart

--------------------------

Queen of Hearts:

In your subdued way

you blink,

touch,

sigh,

assure me of life.

Your way of thinking mesmerizes me.

Yet your oblivious.

I wish I could open

your heart to mine.

Sometimes I think I have succeeded,

but you reassure me I haven't.

I see how

you think,

see,

analyze equations.

You have a photographic Memory.

I just dream of,

wish for,

analyze YOU.

Queen of Hearts is picked last, I guess

---------------------------

You remind me of a moonlit cruise

Which goes all around the world?

I see you; I see myself.

If my eyes could ever see inside you

To my amazement you would be so cold

Your coldness shows only to me


The smell of your hair so sweet

Sweet like a fresh flower

When you caress me I feel all warm

An internal flame lights

A voice that sends shivers all over my body

No other person has such influence on me

You are my knight

A knight so handsome I melt away

The sounds I muster are from my heart

My heart is open to you

Do not leave me

Hold me forever

------------------------

My Generation


We have been betrayed by beauty,

Fooled by its outside appearance and

Mocked by reality.


We have been let down by the great protectors

Who claim safety, but cannot ensure it,

Even in the rooms of knowledge.


We have been shocked by human nature.

It has shown us the most ugly thing

Known to man, complete and pure hatred.....

In its most feared disguise.


We have been robbed of our comforts...

Not only within our schools,

Not only within our homes,

But also within fellow seekers of

The higher mind and in general, simply

Those around us.

We have been wounded by a word that

Should be avoided like any disease,

And we have been given the virus that kills....

Hatred.

--------------------------

No One


You're telling me things

I already know

You take me places

I would never go

And you act so freely

Like the world was your own

You can do anything you want

But don't you leave me alone


When will we learn

That nothing is real

And everything's changing

Except what we feel

And out on your doorstep, I was all butterflies

Cause all of the moonlight in the sky

Was no match for your eyes

You're telling me things

I don't want to hear

But you are my answer

When nothing is clear

And the music played softly

As you whispered a word

I had to catch my breath

From what I had heard

---------------------------

MY CONSCIENCE AND I BEGAN TO FIGHT,


DISPUTING WHAT WAS WRONG OR RIGHT.

HOWEVER, I DID NOT LISTEN I MADE MY OWN WAY,

NOW I'M STUCK IN THE DARKNESS, UNABLE TO SEE THE DAY.

IF ONLY I HAD FOLLOWED HEAVEN'S PATH,

THEN MAYBE I WOULD NOT FEEL SATAN'S WRATH.

ALL THAT I'M REQUESTING IS GOD'S LOVE,

AND TO BE ABLE TO ENTER THE KINGDOM UP ABOVE.

NOW I'M HERE ETERNALLY BURNING,

AND GOD'S SALVATION IS WHAT I'M YEARNING.

BUT WILL HE FORGIVE ME?

WILL HE SEE THE TRUTH?

BECAUSE BEHIND THIS SINFUL SOUL,

IS THE CONFESSION OF A YOUTH.

------------------------

"Just One"


A couple weeks ago we both said

"Good-bye"

But i never stopped caring about you.

I craved one last good-bye kiss, and that

was all. I thought that was all it would

take to get over you. I thought wrong.


Today i got my kiss, and many more. You held

me in your arms and made me feel special

again .I missed that feeling.


A couple weeks ago we both said

"Good-bye"

A couple minutes ago we both said

"I Love You"

--------------------------

~My puppy~


My dogs name is Travis.

He likes to Scratch his head.

He never chews his hair,

Or thinks about his Mere.

He loves to run around.

For he has Hip Displaga.

He has a lot of fur.

-----------------------


Prayer for My 25th Birthday
-John C. Erianne


As soon as the band

plays the right song

may the Uzis

of peace

lay down their

green faces


Let the Ozone

knit itself

together

again like

a baby's

skull


and we'll all

dance together

like a band of

drunken gypsies.

-------------------------

She gets angry at her mom

All she hears is this parent scream

Instead of yelling she runs and hides

Not noticing the added pain inside...

Her father dies of unseen cancer

She didn't get to say good-bye

Instead of crying she runs and hides

Not noticing the added pain inside...

No one knows and no one cares

Unbeknownst what fate will bring

She continues along this downward track

Stuffing her feelings deeper inside...

They begin to build, more and more

Stackes upon stacks of hate, anger, and pain

Until one day, she can stand it no longer

She asks herself what she can do to end this pain...

Not thinking nor caring she grabs a knife

Deciding the only way out is to end her life

What could have been avoided was nothing but ignored

Maybe someday we'll all give a care

--------------------------

Life

I wonder if life is nothing more than a joke with no punchline, a riddle with

no meaning, a puzzle with jagged edges.

I wonder if where you are is where you want to be. You said that once the

veil of fantasy was remove from your eyes, the starkness of what is real blinded

you with vast capacity and paralyzed you with the fear that maybe fiction was

better.

Behind dry eyes I think of where I live and my smile starts to wane. The

safe places I built within my mind crumble like sand castles hit by the morning

tide when the realization that where I told myself I would never be is where I

am today.

I turn my back and close my eyes reality suspends in time. I realize that

life which I thought of as beautiful and glorious was simply what I was dictated

to believe.

The last memory I have before my spiritual death is my heart singing this

song:


Why when I need it the most the light within that

once shone so brightly refuses to come on?

--------------------------

AGELESS


I am ageless

The giant oak is the watcher

She guards the hidden murky path

Curving past blossoming buttercups and marsh grass

To my soul, crying out to the night.


Water plays melodies among the river rocks

Broken pine branches beat to form a lullaby.

A babe stretches from his cocoon

Kissing his reflection in the bottomless pool.


I am ageless

The crimson sea frolics with the sand

Never tiring of its perpetual course

Laying grains of eternity past destiny

To set me free.

-----------------------------

Poetry is the treetops dancing in the moonlight

Kenneth W. Brown

... it's the clouds struggling to hide the red--faced nakedness of the morning sun

... it's the winter morning as the cold crisp air sharpens the blues of the sky and the whites of the clouds, and causes a stillness

so perfect that a string of white smoke stands almost straight up, seeming to tether a cloud to the ground. Is there an

advertisement painted balloon-like on the cloud, telling us of the wares produced under the smoke below?

... it's the grassfire clearing the land, making way for the bright green of the new growth soon to follow.

... it's the wind carving sculptures in the snow as it blows over the rocks and past the trees.

... it's the grace of naked lovers kissing on a moonlit night.

... it's the imaginings in the mind of man.

... it's love, it's beauty, it's peace, sanity midst chaos.

... it's all of this, and more!

--------------------------

So it is here that I feel this overwhelming sense of calm....

In these arms I lay with content,

with a passion so strong everything real disappears.

My head on her breast, I am left with a comfort reminiscent

of the soft cotton folds on my mother's sundress.

The grasses are greener, and I am falling in love with dandelions.

My wish star is shining up the night... she is my midnight baby, and

my sunshine sparrow, the nights are filled with peaceful slumber.

She is an indian summer...leaving my days warmer and my senses

filled with the pretty things.... smells of coffee, Ivory soap,

and the harvest candle have all become symbols of our friendship.

And I cannot remove my lips from hers, they have never felt this heaven.

I cannot let go of this precious being for one night, let alone

a lifetime....our bodies overlap and I no longer belong to me.

--------------------------

Knowing when...


Knowing when you're in love is really great,

starting your love not a moment too late.

You reminisce about the times that you've once had,

looking forward to the future and only being glad.


Knowing when you're sick puts you in pain,

the feelings within may drive you insane.

Knowing when you're hurt often causes sorrow,

hoping that things will be better tomorrow.


The best of all is knowing when you're going to die.

Not telling anyone hello or good-bye.

Just leaving out of a world of hate,

it's a feeling that I think is really great.


The fear that lives inside of you comes out,

you finally understand what dying's about.

If you're scared or have second thoughts,

just put them aside and give it a shot.


Knowing when your life comes to an end,

should be shared between you and a friend.

So I'm telling you, my friend, good-bye

because I know when I'm going to die.

-------------------------

Father

Father of wisdom seen in my heart

And those things revealed are love

For my dreams are that of my future

And my visions are within my desires

For today is another within the light

And the darkness is cast out by love

For no other power has my destiny

And today will be tomorrow's wisdom

--------------------------

BACK SIDE OF THE SUNSET


WHEN I WALK MY CALIFORNIA BEACHES,,,,, ,I REMEMBER,,, THE CALIFORNIA


BEACHES........ BUT NOW I LOOK AT THE BACKSIDE OF THE SUNSET.......


THE GREENS, BLUES (MONTEREY) JAZZ (SANTA CRUZ) .,,,,,THE SOUL OF THE LAND


WHERE ARE THE LISTENERS,,, WHERE DID THEY GO TO BIG SUR........

---------------------------

To Jamie, My Little Golden Heart


Someone who cares enough to say

Someone who brightens up your day

Someone who's there no matter what

Someone there when I'm in a rut.


Someone there when I'm in doubt

Someone when I'm down and out

Someone warm and never cold

Someone with a heart of gold.

---------------------

Dancing Grass

Phillip Igloliorti


Grass swaying gently

dancing with the wind

politely and quietly


Subtle movements

gracefully in sync

caressing suspiciously


Intertwining with each other

individually sacrificing

its' dance with the wind

---------------------

CHAIR


I sat in the chair you lived in

looked through your view for days

smelled you, leveled you.

listened to the rain

remembering your tears,

as you walked towards the door,

stepping into the green room

when your last breath escaped.

that vision in my dreams keeps me awake.

tears drip and splash like bombs

when they hit the armrests

i was always hoping you wouldn't

take those last steps

and be left without me to attend.

so i run for my life

and i burn the chair.

-----------------

Dreamer's loose sleep


Awake and fragile I think up thoughts that are rational

as soon as I fall into that ditch that we like to call sleep

I begin to dream--and it's all over

there are no nice dreams

they might start off that way- but in the end they all end up

as nightmares.


Nightmares cause insomnia-therefore I do not sleep

instead i sit here in front of the information superhighway

and share all of my least interesting thoughts with the other insomniacs of the world...So goodnight to all, I hope you don't

dream.

------------------------

I don't know what brought us together,

Those days I hold in my past.

My live has never been better.

Our love will forever last.


At your side I do ever want to be

Your face forever in my mind.

No one was meant for me but you.

No one as sweet and kind.


As time wears on, my heart beats strong.

In rhythm, proclaiming my love.

My eyes behold no one but you.

For it is you I hold above.


No matter what life may throw upon us,

No other do I seek

You are the one I love,

You make me strong when I am weak.


I know that time will slow my heart.

Though time on this earth is a number,

I will be with you forever, my love,

Whether in life or in slumber.


I am so happy that we are one.

There will always be you and I.

The world may end today, but know this,

I will always love you... forever.

--------------------------

"THE JOURNEY"


AS WE DRIVE ON DOWN THE HIGHWAY,

THE MOUNTAINS FALL BEHIND US,

THE SNOW UPON THE FIELDS,

REFLECTS THE SUN THAT BLINDS US,

WE'VE TRAVELED MANY MILES,

HAND IN HAND TOGETHER,

WE'VE TRAVELED THROUGH THE NICE DAYS,

AND THROUGH THE STORMY WEATHER,

THE DIRT ROADS WERE SO BUMPY,

FROM ALL THE SUNK IN HOLES,

WE HOLD EACH OTHER CLOSE,

WHEN THE CAR BEGINS TO ROLL,

WE END UP IN A QUARRY,

AND LUCKY TO BE ALIVE,

OUR LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER,

IS NOW IMPOSSIBLE TO HIDE...

------------------------

IN THE PAST /TO A DIFFERENT BEAT / PEOPLE STOOD / ON THEIR OWN TWO FEET

THE TROUBLE TODAY / TO AN OFFERED HAND / INSTEAD OF THANKS / IT'S A NEW DEMAND

BUT I'M A CRIPPLE / THEY CRY AND BALK / YOUR BACK IS STRONG / WHY SHOULD I WALK

QUIT SUCKING TIT / GO BUY A COW / PATCH YOUR ROOF / FIX YOUR PLOW

DISCARD YOUR TOYS / GROW SOME HAIR / PULL YOUR WEIGHT / SHOW SOME CARE

STAND ON YOUR FEET / YOU'LL PROBABLY FALL / STAND UP AGAIN / YOUR WALKIN TALL

THE WORLD AIN'T FAIR / TO GOD YOU CRY / INSTEAD OF WHINNING / SPIT IN HIS EYE

------------------------


MOST ECCENTRIC
~ Cathy Leming ~


I am the MOST ECCENTRIC and mighty proud to be,

No one else on this old earth is more eccentric than me.


I am non conventional, and out of the norm,

And more than often, I deviate from form.


Perplexing, curious, odd and funny;

All of this, but I have no money.


I enjoy being peculiar, exotic and quaint;

I'm most eccentric, but you just ain't!


I am ever so foreign in a familiar land;

I reach out and touch with my alien hand.


Let me make mention; my life is bizarre,

So let me alone and stay where you are.


Different, unusual, and sometimes strange...

I even have a hundred names.


Oh sure, I DO exhibit a distant behavior:

But, I find this to be in my immediate favor.


I'm a sleuth, a doctor, and a lawyer's attorney;

And the floor of the ocean is my next journey.


Don't lock me away to try and figure me out,

I inspired The Beatles to write Twist and Shout.


Sometimes dead poets whisper in my ear,

And Robin Hood's arrow is my souvenir.


If you've done it once, I've done it tenfold---

I've done most everything and I'm not even old!


I walked on the moon when I was a babe,

I have too many memories to try to save.


I attempted one time to breathe under water,

And I was rescued by a mermaid's daughter.


When I was held hostage by the infamous Capones,

I truly met up with the real Mister Jones.

I've been in the presence of Bohemian royalty---

But it was They who paid Me with the honor & loyalty.


I was appointed to be Boston's town crier,

By now, I'm sure you might think me a liar.


Let me add, I am paranoid and can't quit it;

If I were NOT paranoid, I'd be an idiot.


After reading this, you can plainly see:

The most eccentric person alive is Me!!

------------------------

Where should I begin

Where should I start

How about the moment

you captured my heart

I think it was your smile

Or maybe it was your frown

But either way

You turned my world upside down

We shared lots of memories

And time sure did fly

And as I sit here now

I know the reason why


I cared about you

You cared about me too

But I never did get my chance

To tell you "thank you"


Almost 3 months later

I look back with delight

I totally understand now

You were just so right


Life takes its course

While we both move on

Time healing everything

All the right and all the wrong


Through all the smiling

Through all the crying

Through every kiss

I realize this:


Maybe we weren't meant to be together

But it sure would be great to be friends forever

--------------------------

"Where, now?"


Tell me, Lord, where do I go,

And how do I begin; to

Pick up all the pieces, of

My shattered innocence.


Scattered pictures of that night,

Still ponder in my mind as

I try so hard to rid myself, of

All that he left behind.


My hope is slowly fading,

My faith almost no more;

I fall down, broken, on my knees,

I need Your strength once more.


The tears just won't stop falling,

Am I the one to blame?

My mind is such a tangled mess, of

Anger, confusion, and pain.


Lord, lift my spirits, mend my heart, and

Help me to begin; to

Build my strength, my hopes and dreams,

Be with me 'till the end-

---------------------------

I hear your voice in the whispering wind

Calling to me in the night

I run to find you but fear i can't

For the night has blinded me


Are you behind the trees which sway in the wind?

Are you in the sea which roars to me so?

Are you in the creek that babbles like a baby?

Are you in the sky looking through the stars?


We'll be together again i hear you say

talking to me through nature

I feel so alone here

But feel comfort in your presence


Whispering wind you gently blow

Through life from the skies above

I feel you brush my solemn face

Stroking the sadness away

It is the stars who took you away from me

on which i look upon

Hoping one day we will be together again

In nature together as one

------------------------

Faded Beauty


Walking in

the shadow of my past

What a blossoming youth I was

Such happiness

gleaming upon my face

With a sparkle in my eye

Ready to defeat

anyone who came between

my love and I

A restless beauty

with no limits

no boundary lines

and an endless hope

that surpasses all creation

But the beauty has faded

now turned gray

stone cold

-----------------------

The Fear

What are you afraid of when you close your eyes?

When it is dark, where do you hide?

Do you pull the covers over your head

As you lie awake, quivering in bed?

What gruesome visages appear in the shade?

What a delightful nightmare your imagination has made.

Do you fear the banshee's shriek or the vampire's bite?

Did you find that it is your fear that you can't fight?

Is it monsters or goblins that make your fears sing,

or are you afraid of what tomorrow will bring?

-------------------------

UNSPOKEN LOVE


Sometimes love is illusive, it walks quietly and says

little.... It occasionally whispers only seems to be a

dream.....


I met you in the 60's,,,saw you in the 70's,, lost you

in the 80's,, found you in the 90's.........


Love walks up from behind and grabs you unknowingly,,,,,

when you least expect it......and then it is quiet again..


It holds,,,It lets go,,, It try's,, It gives in,,,,It wonders..

It questions,,, It always listens.....


It want's to know why,,,,,and often asks......

It never leaves,,,,unlike the trees........

--------------------------

what is this evasive blue-green color, that always appears in times like these, flashing itself in the most uncertain moments,

either through the window, or displaying itself sneakily through a spot the wall? in a moment of realization last night, i notice it

to be the color of ocean water on a stormy day, deep and calling, somewhere between smoky and blue topaz, whispering of

tides pulled in and out , in and out, the beginning and the end, the beginning and the end....


sweetheart if i could fall asleep with my hands in your hair every night, if i


could kiss your third eye awake every morning, nothing could ever be wrong... let me see red instead, for love, or yellow for

joy or green for growth, not this sea colored messenger, that though it's watery indecision, it's back-and-forth, back-and-forth,

will take you away from me.

by:faeoni

---------------------------

I covet your love,

yearn for your touch,

and can feel your lips

pressing against mine.

Heat rises inside me.

The excitement is mounting.

Every part of my body

trembles with anticipation.

I can taste you.

I can smell you.

I can feel you.

I can hear your heartbeat quicken.

Savoring that moment in time

for as long as I may.

Aching for you once more.

Needing you again even more.

Your sweet breath on my neck.

You whispers in my ear.

Until I can't want anymore.

all our senses paramount.

Immeasurable liberation of serenity

-------------------------

Getting Through Life's Obstacles


Another day has passed

When the smile on my face

Has turned upside down

Tears fall down in disgrace.


Memories from my past

Are what's haunting me.

But I have to be strong

And accomplish my dreams.


Getting through life's obstacles,

Can be a hard thing to do.

Don't give up, be strong

Everything will be brand new.

--------------------------

Alone with my Sainity May 2,1999


I sit alone and think,sometimes for love,sometimes for life.

I sit alone and think,sometimes for hate,sometimes for death.

Tell me what do you think of when you lay your head to rest?

It's the shadows in my mind the fire that burns with'in my soul the

uncontrollable pain that lives with'in us all.We all feel it,we all need

it,do you recognize what you see when you look in the mirror,do you know

what you've become,tell me what you see.

Is your soul one with your sainity,have you given up on humanity,throw

your fists in the air in a rage for brutality.I'm the suicidal youth that

walks with'in your socity,I'm the voice with'in your head,I'm the master

of puppets the boogie man that lives under your bed,I'm the angel of death

the messenger of god,I'm the M.F. serpent that tricked Adam and Eve,you'd

better recognize when you see me,feel my fury I've been around for centuries.

I'm the judge and the jury I'll choose your fate,there is one more issue

that's not clear to you but I'll save that for another time,maybe when I

come to get you so GOODBYE and GOODNIGHT I'll see you soon.

------------------

In the rush of the morning,

no alarm is heard from the sleep of within,

I'm captured, the buzzing sounds of cars, horns,

and screaming people unmove me,

I huddle to the shadow beside and lose all unconscious

by the tenderness of a touch,

Was I to feel the vibration from the plane soaring above,

When in rapture, I think not,

A smile while I sleep, unimaginable, since I dont smile

when I'm awake,

Lost is the afternoon, slowly dawning is the day to night,

And still the rumbling streetcars unshaken me,

I'm comfort, you, wow.. what a concept.

----------------------------------------

Cockpit

Jay Stricklin


You look at me like a robot unplugging itself

the wires spit juice and crud fills the cracks as it tears itself up

The machines keep working to clean up the spill after the keeper's died

the keeper looks at you like a robot unplugging itself

We threw parties to surprise the guests that had shown

We filled up the bowls to show that there was enough juice in this thing to celebrate

The horses keep running in place

It takes that I tell you

Sometimes you just have to pretend that there is a reason to throw a party like this

We dress up, and ask each other how we look

in our eyes there is a cockpit with an attendant who never tires of refilling the mirrors


I keep peeling you back

You keep receding, and I keep pealing

You've told me that I can't stop picking at our sores

and I tell you that sometimes the only thing that cleans a wound is good thorough licking

------------------------

HE'S...

He's funny, smart, caring and loving.

He can be the life of the party.

He can bring you up or bring you down.

He'll always be there for me at any given time.

He may not be perfect but I love him the same.

He won't leave me behind but he won't bring me forward.

To me he's perfect the way he is.

He's bright and very intelligent even though he doesn't think that.

I know he doesn't always believe in himself but I'll always believe in him.

Whatever he puts his mind to he'll accomplish.

I'll always be proud of him and everything he does in life.

He's a very big part of my life and I love him.

He's my brother!

------------------------------

Useless

Changing choices of the way.

I think I chose to live today.

Where I stand on the divided layers.

I might be a pawn, but I'm not a player.

Like the silent rain drops that deafen me.

Like a brightly lit darkness that I can't see.

I think I should change all I can.

But without all the pieces, I still don't understand.

And fate lies where it may be.

Knowing I have no identity.

Learning reasons not to stay.

I thin I chose to die today.

Where I watch my star fall.

A little sacrifice and life for them all.

Like the tears that try to rise.

Like the dying sun up in the sky.

I think I should change all I can.

But without all the pieces, I still don't understand.

And fate lies where it may be.

Knowing I have no identity

-------------------------------

I sit in my capsule chair.

Staring at my light bulb container.

Life can be unfair.

Whatever I do there is a remainder.

Repeated slumber in unconscious drive.

Entangled visions on an amusement park ride.

I strive for completeness within a populous beehive.

Internal warfare, different selves collide.

I think I'm going crazy.

I don't know who I am...

.... Anymore?

-----------------------------

OUR ARMY

I'm a soldier heading into war, and everybody asks me: What for? For the desperate families that I see, For the

hopeless kids that I meet, For the young and the old, For the sick and the bold, For the weak and the strong, For those who

think they don't belong. But as I fight, I will not hide. I do not need a silly disguise, because I won't let Camouflage cover up

my pride. I march in an army dressed i white, with gold Headbands that float. And that is something I am proud to show. And

our army is the strongest, because Our shield is God's fist. No one can push us down, Because we shine in the light of the

Lord's Crown.

----------------------------

Changing Seasons


Autumn announced its presence

With a howling burst of wind

Bringing death to summer leaves

Shorter days chilly nights

An end to outdoor barbecues

Our short sleeved evening walks

Nude sleeping atop the sheet

Dead leaves are dancing in the street


Richard A Ditmanson

----------------------------------------------

LOVERS TOO!


Cajun boy

Cajun girl

lovers two

give a whirl

throw a kiss

land on lips

hearts a glow

melts the snow

emotions grow

arms embrace

lovers two

face to face

crimson flow

hands on hips

whispers low

clasp of hands

path of love

walk the lands

flying dove

budding hours

ever ours

will you do

marriage two

ever more

a winning score

man & wife

lovers too

rest of life

yes

yes we do

by Walt Barger

-------------------------------------

I HAVE FINALLY DISCOVERED MY SOUL MATE

THE ONE WHO MAKES ME FEEL COMPLETE

IT WAS SUCH TOTAL FATE

HOW WE DID MEET


IT TOOK SO LONG

TO SEE WHAT WAS RIGHT THERE ALL THE TIME

FINDING HIM HAS MADE RIGHT WHAT ONCE WAS WRONG

AND HE CAN OVERLOOK MY PAST CRIME

OF SELF-LOATHING AND HATE

THAT I HAVE INDULGED IN FOR SO LONG

I WILL TELL YOU WHO IT IS IF YOU PROMISE NOT TO MOCK

ME BUT HE WHO BRINGS ME WHICH GLEE

NOW THIS MAY BE A BIG SHOCK

BUT IT IS NONE OTHER THEN ME

-------------------------------------------

Write ?

About what!

Speak?

About what!

About the joys, that are to surrender our lives!

Speak unto who?

Unto the master, the holder, the eye of wisdom

Grow, grow, grow.....into the soul

What soul?

The soul of the universe...the whole!!

The Whole?

The ever belonging, encompassing truth!!

Oh, the truth

------------------------------

enchantment


of childhood

born into this world

pure

clean

new...


learning

experiencing

new things


being under

a spell

magic


not knowing

right or

wrong


just having fun

being a kid

enchanted

--------------------

Why?


Why do I feel this way

have I committed some crime

in which I must pay

with my soul and time


Why do I question my life

is it so bad I have to die

for that is the essence of my strife

that makes me look above and scorn the sky


Why is my soul so torn

is this part of my fate

that I must be born

into chaos and hate


Why is this so hard for me

is my struggle really that strong

that I lay awake pondering my symmetry

or just admit that I am wrong


Why is this question always in my head

is life really that insane

that i may lay amongst the dead

rather than stand in the pouring rain

-----------------------------------------

Do you hear me scream

Do you feel my pain

Want to see my dream

Dance with me in the rain

See the sorrow in my eyes

For things I haven't done

It will take much to clear these skies

But the battle I have won

Within me burns a fire

Expressed only in my rage

From this world I want to retire

No longer trapped in society's cage

-----------------------------------

You


There is a place inside my heart, Untouched by human kindness and unloved for more years than can be counted.

It is a place so hollow, so limitless in depth that it would take a miracle to reach it from where you stand.

There is a place inside my heart that I believe you are the only one who can fill it's aching need.

Swoop me, swing me.

Whirl me around in laughter and bliss.

Kiss your tender lips against my brow.

Touch my flesh with your gentleness and love.

Look into my eyes but say not a single word,

For if you truly love me, I am sure to feel it in that space so far inside my heart.

Dance on moon lit floors of Mother Earth.

Dance on leaf beds in Autumn.

Dance with out clothing in summers sweltering heat.

Lets dance through life together-Lets be whole together,

You and I.

-----------------------------------

the sound of your voice haunts me day and night,as though it echoes from below

this bridge upon which we stand

it is like a warm silk passing over my heart

eyes closed, a breeze moves my spirit closer

a yearning so strong as to never taste the bitterness that is the loss of hope

a fear so great as to never understand the power of reason

to where will our hearts travel in the midst of this distant river?

a song, so silent and strong, prevails

a song which I have never before heard

but which I clearly understand

my eyes will lift to meet the horizon

for I am prepared to go the distance

of this path unknown

each beat of this heart is a prelude

to the rhythm that whispers from the nearby shore

to where will our hearts travel in the midst of this river of silk?

upon this bridge we shall dance

until at once we will have discovered

that we are on the other side

---------------------------------

THOUGHTS ON ME

GENEVIEVE HARGIS


I'm self-destructive

don't get too close to me

or you will fall as well.

This pain I inflict

is of my own choosing.

Don't let me fool you

I will you know.


And you will go down with me

(You wont even know your down)

You wont even know it's me dragging you

But you WILL fall

And I,

I will walk away from you.

---------------------------------

The Awakening

H. J. Mosteller, Jr.


Dim light in the quiet darkness

As the envelope of the night now opens

To give way to the birth of a new day

Yet still is the silence of morn


Where the shadows of darkness once danced

Now plays the soft rays of a sun not yet risen

As it presents the dawn of a new day

Yet still is the silence of morn


As a kaleidoscope of soft colors now turns

With natures light show glistening through the sky

The willow softly sways in the gentle breeze

Yet still is the silence of morn


Now the presence of the sun defined

By its own brilliance claimed the darkness

As a choir of angelic voices sing, I awake

To their joyous song of the new day

-------------------------------------

More or less,

we're all afflicted with the psychology

of the voyeur

Not in a strictly clinical or

criminal sense, but in our whole

physical and emotional

stance before the world

Whenever we seek to break

this spell of passivity,

our actions are cruel and

awkward and generally obscene,

like an invalid who

has forgotten how to walk.

-------------------------------------

Howling misery throughout the night,

as the whispering traitors feed him

fright. Their unholy screams corrupt

his path, while unmourned souls expel

their wrath. Dreadful thoughts invade

his head, his normal other self is

dead. He walks the streets and lights

go dim, the cold, black night is feeling

grim. Demonic ideas control his life,

causing darkness, hate, and strife.

Memories of peace he can't relive,

for only torturous pain they give.

Principles get twisted and turned,

his hopes and dreams are scared and

burned. Unbearable sorrows build up

to lies, no truth is seen through

blinded eyes. Harmful intentions

possess his will, training his

thoughts for someday to kill. Mislead fears embrace his

cries, he waits upon the time he dies.

Suicide sets in this prison cell, what will save him from this hell?

-------------------------

Spirit


Tiny flecks.Floating suspended at the bottom of the bottle.

Skin fragments. Teeth pickings. Pieces of me.

Self-consumption.

Spirit.

Is that meant to be a joke?

---------------------------

with all this war and hating. And all this sad good-bye.

Like arms betrothed in wedlock. Living until you die.

How sad this great good-morning. When all is lost but sane.

No gentle tears nor quiet thoughts. No silence, no god, no pain.

Frodo...

-----------------------

Waiting for Corey


I have never failed to smile when things become pale, So where is my

extremities of hope that I reach for? Claustrophobic in the gutter they lay,

searching for greater means of transportation. Prevailing over the valley's

dust I wait for them every day, praying that my questions of meaning can be

over looked at least by him, raising over the sun by means clearer than

heavens shadows.


My shoulders sag down, my heart sinks. My body has become a cold

undying sweat that unearths my being. Then I look down shaken by the

changing geo. that surrounds me, my reflection beams from the ground . I'm

smiling, so why? Where is my hope for the future? Near and soon

heartlessly shaken by my bare bodies core, comes the truth I've been

searching for. Soon, I whisper, drifting away


-Christina Taylor

----------------------------

Mother's Revenge

A.C. Mudge


The insane man is melting

Into the cold walls

Grinding the floors of the mausoleum

Reveal the ugly face


Flies gather for this orgy spectacle

And their maggot children nestled in gray mass

Infest the fluid lunacy

The insane man, wormy blood and television lover

Come the insane man

Everyone's invited, the frenzied preachers

Placid killers will awake to a funeral in hell

Every mother will stand over

The last stake driven through every spongy heart

Ours will sleep in heaven with angels at their side

As they will die forever in a burning casket

A gasoline extinguisher to douse their soul.

--------------------------------------------

wind blows

embraces the oxygen that which I breathe

my thoughts as well

I am lost

I will never find my way back

this I know for sure.

shattered images in mirrors

so many pieces

how do they fit together?

throw them away,

but no, I cannot.

something wants me to keep them

knows the pieces

of mirrors

each tell a tale

a memory

no memory is shattered

just embraced by the wind.

------------------------

: "when the glass is broken"

When the glass is broken

the real you comes showering

down

will this be love?

when the glass is broken

a heart is broken.

Love and other emotions

thrown to the floor

hate comes out

with this,

all is wrong

the real you seems not right

to me

----------------------------

if only one voice,

if only a wall i could stand to,

as before me my hope has taken its thousand wings,

and forgotten.....

but i rage, if only to know for

a dying moment, that as i sleep,

the stone i breathe from has an answer,

has a separation so that i might escape,

to feel the soil of my youth just before it choked with age,

no sun or moon could slow me then,

or could any hand remove the peace

and innocence that has since begun to rot

by the ruins that i wake to,

my question always remains untitled,

never to disappear or change,

i can only turn my back again,

and wait, for the voice.


OnE, 1999

----------------------------------

"NATURAL SELECTION FOREST 187"


A BANG, A CRASH, A MYSTERIOUS FLASH,

GOD SENT THIS BEAM OF LIGHT, TO SPREAD

FREIGHT THROUGH OUT THE NIGHT, THE

STORM GREW THICK, OVERCAST SKIES,

BUT NO RAIN, HUMID BUT NO MOISTURE, ANIMALS

BUT NO LIFE, BLAST THE FOREST CAN NOT LAST WHEN

THE LIGHTNING PIERCES THE BRUSH, A SPARK,

A FLAME, AND BOOM THE FOREST IS JUST ASH.

-----------------------------------------

-Manic-

You here words whispered about you. "She's crazy i heard she has to take pills or she'll flip out!" Well at least they got one

part right i do take pills. Happy pills i call them. But people are so wrong about us. We don't flip out we just become severely

depressed and fick you if you can't deal with some ones chemical imbalance. if there's any one group of people that are the

most creative it's the manic-depressives. Yes, that's what i am and if you want to make fun of me go ahead!!!!!

-----------------------------------------

Nature's Affection
by Nicole S. Porter


clouds tickle the sky

while sun kisses the mountains

natural embrace

---------------------------

Something went wrong with the world today.

God didn't create it this way.

There is so much crying.

And way too much dying.

School shootings happening everywhere.

Innocent kids taking their last breath of air.

Teens dying at such a young age.

Because of other students on a wild rampage.

They went to school to learn & have some fun.

They didn't know they'd never again see the rising sun.

Being threatened with bombs.

Dying before their proms.

Bodies on the ground.

Families worry & gather 'round.

The families are devastated.

Wondering why their "babies" were annihilated.

It was too soon to say goodbye.

It was too soon for them to die.

This violence has made me stop & pray.

To thank God I have my family & friends with me today.

Don't take your loved ones for granted 'cause you never know.

When it will be their time to go.

----------------------------------------

Woven and weaved are spiders webs

in coordination of gothic light of the unliving dead.

Their eyes radiate bane and pane,

which have caused individuals to turn insane.

A bright angel is what they seek

so let mine provided be upon they feast.

Know how I came upon this acquisition,

It is an event which I feel no contrition.

I took one from above

for I was in love.

This angel was an evil one.

For this task must be done.

Evil ones, I am not of your faith but kill this hypocritical angel,

for if not I shall kill things evil.

An exception not if It's evil desires no evil.

-----------------------------

LIFE BEGINS TO FADE


TO A PLACE FAR AWAY

WHY I'M NOT SURE

BUT MY SIGHT IS BLURRED

I SAW A TALL BLACK MAN

AND HE SAID I'M GOING TO SMOKE

WANA COME TAKE SOME TOQUES

I SAID SURE LETS GO

I NEED MY JACKET THOUGH

SO I WALKED OUT THAT DOOR

AND THE WORLD WAS NO MORE

BUILDINGS BECAME ROCKS

AND MY FOOT, A BOX

SO NOW I SIT AT MY DESK

WONDERING WHAT TO DO NEXT

-----------------------------------------------

A FRIEND


i came upon a friend today, who i know, will help me on my way.

life is a journey, we all must ride, not only is it our shadow at our side.

there are others who will reach your mind,

open your eyes, so you're not so blind.

life, sometimes, is an endless wait,

though you're not searching hard, you will find your fate.

It's subtle, but there, though it's easy to miss, like perhaps, a fairy kiss.

fate is the smile, like warm sunshine, nurturing hope, in this heart of mine.

i think, it is fate that has brought me to you,

somehow, i know you think it too.

my thoughts are profound, and you are like me...

we enjoy but don't harm, just let it be.

though sometimes the rain will fall, we will come through with strengh for all.

you've crossed my path for a reason i know, and on through life i will go.

i know this poem, it isn't much...

but i hope, my friend, you'll keep in touch,

and, if you don't we'll meet again, like spring water flowing 'round the river bend...

We are one, and will forever be... a part of you... a part of me.

----------------------------------------------

"The Garden"


As I walked through the Garden I saw my life appear in my eyes,

I came across old rumors, gossip, and lies.

Like a seed I want them to be buried away,

And at peace I want to lay.


As I walk, the rain begins to pour down on me,

And the seeds unburied selfishly.

I try so hard to make it right,

But so many weeds try to make me fight.


Rain stops, as I see red, red roses giving me guidance through out the way,

And green leaves from trees giving me a place to stay.

I see uncovered paths giving me somewhere to walk,

And at space of sunflowers giving me a place to talk.


Bad memories were washed away, and new memories began to stay,

The Garden gave me strength and took away my fears and gave me a way,

A way stronger then it appears and weaker then it becomes.

-----------------------------------------------

My Life Your Heart.

I'm gazing into the empty blue sky

A bird gliding below the clouds

Catches my eye,

Your face I can plainly see

Up beyond the clouds of eternity,

You and me is plain to see

That this is a chance of destiny,

Love can reach the nearest star

Past the moon through my heart,

Like a love no other can have

Your my life I'm your heart.

By: Mary Wine. Written May,5,1998

------------------------------------------------

The days longest hours


All seem to linger on

Until your presence towers

Time seems to cease on all ends

You stand yielding great power

I am nothing to you


The suns arising rays

Glistening in the morning's glory

Your beauty awakens the days

All else seems to die in my eyes

Everything's irrelevant in all ways

I am nothing to you


Life is not worth itself

When your not immersed in it

Why go on living when you know

Nothing of my existence

You are everything to me

I am nothing to you

------------------------------

I SAID A PRAYER FOR YOU TODAY

I said a prayer for you today

and I know God must have heard-

I felt the answer in my heart,

although he spoke no words.

I didn't ask for wealth or

fame, for I knew you wouldn't

mind. I asked him to send treasure

of a far more lasting kind.

I asked him that we'd be near

each other the start of each new

day. I asked for happiness for

you, in always, great and small,

but it was for your love and care,

I prayed for most of all.

----------------------------

Poetry


Poetry is like a rainbow with many different colors

Red for romance and green for life

And always at the other side of the rainbow

their is a pot full of writings waiting for someone to read

Writings of wonder and excitement

waiting to be read

--------------------------

we lay

together

in the heated joining of arms and legs

your smile makes me want to

be closer

so i try

i love the way i am with you

the way i can let go

of my inhibitions

and just be

in the moment

-------------------------

American Art

-for The Eulogists

Though I was not the first to discover metaphor

In cold blue steel I see future more clearly

Before the crimson paint on hands coagulates

Let us recognize the brutal Art of Post-nada

Y nada y nada despues de nada, a mi no me importa

Ahora tenemos Picassos y Dalis Americanos

You are not worth your plastic flowers

And your See-Dick-Run sentiments

-----------------------------

All I'll be, All I am,

Everything in this world

that I'll ever do.

Is done with All.

All my strength, All my power, All my knowledge.

That's what you need to give: All

It might not seem like all is what i give

but hey, I'm small, and sometimes so is my All.

Jesus gave it All for us.

So that's why I will give my All

He is All I need in my life

cause in the end everything will be All right.

still with All my heart, till my dying day.

By:Ashley Sipes



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Poems Copyright © Designated Authors 1999.


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